Category: Journal of Failures and Other Things

Yesterday wasn’t the most productive day. I’ve done a bunch of productive things as always, but in my typical time blindness I have no idea what. I haven’t been spending the time checking Rewind.AI to compile a report for myself. I think I’m scared to see how much I waste my time still.

Deleted YouTube from my phones. Ever since ChatGPT of all things said boredom is a feature, that’s what I try to aim. I used to spend my days in Hacker News, which I classified as productive procrastinating, lately it’s just been YouTube and X. I’m not intellectually stimulated as I used to be. I’ll change that.

I also need to find the joy in being so bored in the bathroom I read the labels on the shampoo container.

Yesterday was better than the day before. As long as today is better than yesterday, I’ll win. That’s the magic of compounding.

I’ve been having what could be defined as a mini existential crisis lately. I’ll be 30 soon, I’m working at my dream company working on a space I’m very passionate about.

I find myself in a place where I need to refactor all the parts of myself that’s dragging me back. I have severe ADHD. It’s my superpower. It is legitimately what brought me to where I am today. My ADHD doesn’t hold me back. I’m holding myself back by not harvesting it properly. I’m not spending the time, energy and sweat that I need to so that I can learn how to use my superpower.

In superhero origin stories, there is sometimes the sequence where our hero starts to discover they have powers. Maybe they get scared or get too excited, their powers manifest. Some villain attacks them, they don’t know how to use their powers but all of the sudden their powers work. My villain has been deadlines. But when you are operating in a level like I do, deadlines are arbitrary so they are not as scary anymore. I have the privilege of knowing what the *real* deadline is.

Now, it is time for me to learn how to use my powers. It’s not going to be easy. I need help. Creating accountability is often recommended. Public commitment too.

So, I’ll blog. Every day. Just 15 minutes to talk about my day. What was great, what wasn’t. Maybe I won’t want to but then I have to write something else. I get scared to stay lone with my thoughts lately but I’m a great showman, so I’ll air my thoughts here, in written form, put on a show of my wins and my misery.

And hey, no one knows I’m blogging, so there is less shame.